Be Your Own Best Friend!

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When you start to take notice of your thoughts and self-talk, it can be shocking to hear the things you say to yourself. Some of the things I have said to myself, I would never say to a friend. Why is that? Why do we treat ourselves worse than we would ever treat one of our friends?

It could be that we heard those messages from others and then repeat them to ourselves. We might say negative things to ourselves to protect us from being hurt by others.  We might predict the worst so we are not disappointed if the worst happens.

If you say, "I can't do that," you prevent yourself from trying new things and potentially making a fool of yourself. If you say, "I'm fat," then it won't hurt as much if someone else sends you that message. If you say "Bad things always happen to me," you won't be disappointed if they do.

How has that strategy been working for you? Have your negative words to yourself helped you accomplish any goals that you wanted to achieve?  Have those words given you confidence? Have they made you a better person?

What if you turned those words around? What if you said, "I can do that!", "I look great just as I am?",  "Good things happen to me all the time." Do you think those messages could get you closer to living the life you want than the negative self talk? Why don't you experiment and try? What do you have to lose?

Your self-talk is a self-fulfilling prophesy. It may feel uncomfortable, at first, to feed yourself compliments and positive self-talk, but the more you do it, the more natural it will become. And the more you do it, the more you will believe it. The more you believe that you are a fabulous person, the more you will act like a fabulous person and the more other people will respond to you as that person. 

It all starts with awareness. As Maya Angelou says, "...when you know better,  do better." You know that it is important to speak to yourself in a kind and positive way.  If you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself or about yourself to another person, stop yourself and rephrase your message into a positive one. Remember, you are speaking to your best friend - YOU! 

Start today and don't ever stop. It will be worth the effort!

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Look for the silver lining.

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I had the experience this week of seeing one of my family members falling short of their goal that they had worked incredibly hard for. I found it hard to witness because it didn't seem fair after all the challenges they faced and time and energy put into meeting this goal. At first it was too hard to look for the silver lining, but after the initial disappointment ended, there were so many good things to come out of it.

For me, part of my challenge is that I am always espousing, set your goals, work hard and you will get there. This felt like a lie in the face of my family member not achieving what they set out to do. But with a little time and perspective, this experience is just a reminder that there isn't always a straight line to get to your goals. There are many paths to get there and if you stop before you find a new route, you won't get there. And sometimes the paths don't lead to your original goal, they sometimes take you to a better place than where you first tried to go.

When things don't go right, it's hard to believe it's happened for a reason. And sometimes the reason is never evident. But there is always an opportunity for good things to grow out bad things.  There are silver linings there when you are ready to look for them.

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Why Go On a Women's Retreat?

Life Tip #10 - Find Inspiration Daily

Think Yourself Thin!

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In Napoleon Hill's 1937 bestseller, Think and Grow Rich, he stated:

"The greatest achievement was at first, and for a time, a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn,   the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul, a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of reality."

One of the main premises in Napoleon Hill's classic book on achieving success, is that THOUGHTS ARE THINGS. Our thoughts lead us to act. So we have to train ourselves to think thoughts that support what we want to achieve. You can't expect to become rich, if you are constantly thinking about being poor. You can't expect your dreams to come true, if you don't believe it is possible.

I was listening to a CD I have by Wayne Dyer on how to achieve the results you want in your life. He asked individuals in the audience to give him examples of what they would like to achieve. One woman wanted to lose weight and he asked her if she thought it would be easy or difficult to lose the weight. She responded that it would be difficult. He asked her if she knew that with 100% certainty, to which she replied, "no." Then he asked her the reverse question, could she say with 100% certainty that it would be easy to lose the weight. She couldn't say that with certainty either. So he said to her, "you have two thoughts, one, that losing weight will be easy, another that it will be difficult, either may or may not be true. So which thought will you choose? The thought that will take you in the direction of your desired results or the thought that will take in you in opposite direction?

Of course thinking the right thoughts to achieve our goals or dreams is only the first step, but it is an important one. If you can't even think the thought of what you'd like to achieve and how you will do it, how can you make it happen. I was thinking of the analogy of thoughts being like the dots on those dot-to-dot picture books for children. Having the dots (thoughts) in place, creates the framework for bringing the picture (dream) to life. It's so much easier to create what you want when there is a template for you to follow.

So take notice of your thoughts. Observe them and see if they are supporting you and what you want to create in your life. Some probably are, but there might be some that aren't. If you want to lose weight, imagine how you will do it . Imagine that it will be easy. Imagine enjoying healthy, nutritious foods and feeling great. Imagine doing exercise that you love - maybe with a friend. Imagine how it feels to be active and healthy - how great it feels to be at your ideal weight. Imagine it as if it has already happened. When your thinking is aligned with your goal or dreams, that is the first step to bringing it into reality.

Once you start taking the steps towards your dreams, keep monitoring your thinking. If you hit an obstacle, watch that you don't fall into negative thinking, like "I knew this would happen," or "I can't do this." You have the power to control your thoughts, so choose the thoughts that will take you where you want to go.

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If you don't know what your dream is or would like to know how to bring your dream to life, join us at our Dream Your Dreams Women's Retreat at the Rimrock Resort in Banff, October 14th-16th. For details visit www.dreamyourdreams.ca

Weekly Life Tip Video

Enjoy the moment!

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This summer I am focussing on enjoying the moment. It is the catch phrase you hear all the time - "Enjoy the moment." I understand it and agree with it, but I don't always do it. I am on a short vacation with my mom right now because we drove my daughter to camp and are spending some time nearby while we wait to drive her home. It has been a wonderful time for both of us. It has been so nice to enjoy some "unscheduled time" and do whatever we want. We are enjoying all the amazing scenery and having time to visit and read our books. I know this is a special gift to be able to have this holiday with my mom, and I want to savour it. Every day I am consciously noticing the simple joys of spending time together. I am grateful for each part of the holiday as it arrives. It has been so relaxing for both of us.

Sometimes it is easier to focus on enjoying the moment on holidays because we don't have all our regular chores and routine. But the opportunity to live in the moment is always there, even in our regular day to day routine. Observing and appreciating ordinary things is an easy way to stay present and maximize our enjoyment in life.

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