When you start to take notice of your thoughts and self-talk, it can be shocking to hear the things you say to yourself. Some of the things I have said to myself, I would never say to a friend. Why is that? Why do we treat ourselves worse than we would ever treat one of our friends?
It could be that we heard those messages from others and then repeat them to ourselves. We might say negative things to ourselves to protect us from being hurt by others. We might predict the worst so we are not disappointed if the worst happens.
If you say, "I can't do that," you prevent yourself from trying new things and potentially making a fool of yourself. If you say, "I'm fat," then it won't hurt as much if someone else sends you that message. If you say "Bad things always happen to me," you won't be disappointed if they do.
How has that strategy been working for you? Have your negative words to yourself helped you accomplish any goals that you wanted to achieve? Have those words given you confidence? Have they made you a better person?
What if you turned those words around? What if you said, "I can do that!", "I look great just as I am?", "Good things happen to me all the time." Do you think those messages could get you closer to living the life you want than the negative self talk? Why don't you experiment and try? What do you have to lose?
Your self-talk is a self-fulfilling prophesy. It may feel uncomfortable, at first, to feed yourself compliments and positive self-talk, but the more you do it, the more natural it will become. And the more you do it, the more you will believe it. The more you believe that you are a fabulous person, the more you will act like a fabulous person and the more other people will respond to you as that person.
It all starts with awareness. As Maya Angelou says, "...when you know better, do better." You know that it is important to speak to yourself in a kind and positive way. If you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself or about yourself to another person, stop yourself and rephrase your message into a positive one. Remember, you are speaking to your best friend - YOU!
Start today and don't ever stop. It will be worth the effort!
